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[rwp]
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Subject:Children screaming in Resturants
Time:01:04 pm
Okay, m'people, I think I finally have a topic for the parents and the CFers in here.

On Thursday, I took my parents out to dinner at Applebee's (Where I am never going again for 2 reasons. One is children, two is the lady at the table having a birthday party who tried to take a drink of my Mudslide because it looked so good. O_o)

This has happened to me several times at several resturants. I liked to be seated in the smoking sections of the resturants, since most parents opt to not to sit there because of their children. However, this was not to be on Thursday, since there was a family of four sitting across from us. It wasn't too bad till halfway through our dinner, when their little girl, who I am guessing was around 3-5 since she was talking in full, complete sentences, started screaming and wailing. This went on for a good half an hour until the parents finished their meals and drinks and paid the bill. Neither one of them tried to quiet her down. It drove me absolutely insane.

So, my question here: Is it wrong for me to be completely brassed off that they allowed their child to scream in a crowded resturant for that long and didn't leave? (I'm pretty sure it was damn wrong of them to not try to quiet her down at all, but again, I'm not a parent.) Have you ever been in a situation like that with your own children? If so, what did you do?

 I've always been curious to see what parents have to say about this.
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mefiant_aus
Link:(Link)
Time:2004-07-24 06:04 pm (UTC)
No its not wrong, I have the same attitude. I hate parents who let their children run wild around restaurants, and scream. My children were always told to stay in their seats, as far as crying or screaming, if we couldn't get them to settle within a few minutes one of us would take them outside and calm them down. I have been known to make not to subtle comments to parents who let their kids remain out of control. Another pet hate of mine, parents who take their kids to inappropriate events. Example: Last night I went to see a band at the local club. This band is a pub rock band, very loud music with some coarse language. I was stunned to see a couple there with their little girl who looked about 4yrs standing in the middle of the dance floor. Not only was the noise level way too loud for such small ears, but they were surrounded by some very drunk dancers. Have some people not heard the expression "Babysitter"????
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rwp
Link:(Link)
Time:2004-07-24 10:25 pm (UTC)
I'm totally feeling you on the whole 'Children in inappropiate places' thing. Especially movies. There's just some movies I can't believe got interrupted by a child crying or becoming upset, mostly because the movie was rated R! (Even PG13 movies. I really don't think anyone below the age of 10 should be in those at ALL.)

ANd it's good to know that my pissiness about the whole thing isn't wrong. My mom gave me a whole lecture on how I learn to 'live and let live.' Whatever that means. I just wanted the damn kid to shut up, not choke it with a breadstick. (That punishing thought I reserved for the parents.) I still don't know why my mom would think my reaction was wrong, especially as she keeps telling us that we were all good children who didn't scream or cry in public. *Shrugs* She must be preparing for the grand-baybees that she keeps hinting that I should have. ^_^
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badgerbabe
Subject:Movies
Link:(Link)
Time:2004-07-31 12:56 pm (UTC)
My daughter is almost 9 and has been going to PG-13 movies since she was five. Moulin Rouge was the first one, I think, and it's her favorite movie. She loves movies and is very well-behaved. As for the PG-13 rating, it depends on the movie. She loves romantic comedies and most of them are rated PG-13 but don't have any content I feel uncomfortable having her watch. No worse than what she can see on TV everyday. However, I wouldn't let her watch a horror movie with a PG-13 rating, even though she's a Buffy fan. Those are usually too scary for her. But, she loves "cartoon" movies such as Spiderman. I guess it just depends on the movie.
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tin_kitten
Link:(Link)
Time:2004-07-25 05:09 am (UTC)
I hate screaming kids in restaurants!! And I am dreading when Owen gets old enough to cause that kind of hassle when we are out. At the moment if he gets grizzly we just put him in his sling and he falls asleep, so nice and easy right now. But once he gets older I will have no problem at all dragging him home if he kicks off in a restaurant while we are eating.

I can't understand why they didn't even try and calm the kid down, i mean if they had at least been trying then i guess thats something but if i'd been there i would have said something very offensive (I can't help myself really when I see people being arses!)

Also, what the hell were they doing with their kid in the smoking section!! I smoke but I would never smoke around my son, and would never take him to a smoking section while we were eating!
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stawberi
Link:(Link)
Time:2004-07-25 06:32 am (UTC)
Maybe they were hoping if they ignored their children, they would go away.

Seriously though, if their children are screaming, they could at least try and quieten them. If they won't be quietened, take them outside until they calm down. If it doesn't work, take them home. It's not fair on the other people in the restaurant, and it's not fair on the restaurant. They could lose business. Finally, if they know that they cannot/will not control their children, they shouldn't take them out until they can.
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jacordx
Link:(Link)
Time:2004-07-25 06:34 am (UTC)
This is the one thing that sucks about going out in public with your kids, you can't always predict their behavior. So even if they have been having a good day, had their nap, etc etc etc, they can just decide to freak out and tantrum for no reason, usually at the worst times. So you have a choice, to discipline your child in a public place where other parents (and some of the child-free) stare at you and make judgments (and sometimes comment) on how you handle your kid. OR you can screw your evening and leave the restaurant or movie or whatever, teaching your kid that if they throw a big enough fit, they get their way.
I have made both choices with my son, depending on the situation I will take him outside of the restaurant to give him a time-out (we don't spank) or if he is being really difficult we will just end out plans early and head home.
I am a strict parent cos I HATE when parents let their kids run around like lunatics in public but there are times when no matter what I do, my son HAS to be at his most evil and he will cause a scene. I try to handle as best I can.

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badgerbabe
Link:(Link)
Time:2004-07-31 01:06 pm (UTC)
Exactly. My daughter has never been one to throw tantrums but now that she's older, she can be pretty moody. That usually entails being difficult at the dinner table. Pouting, whining, etc. Most of the time not loudly enough to disturb other people but it can still be embarassing. Usually, I just get down close to her ear and have a little discussion with her about her behavior and she'll calm down. On those days that she really cranky, I usually have to resort to threatening to punish her when we leave.
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levi
Link:(Link)
Time:2004-07-25 07:45 am (UTC)
Personally, letting your children scream in a public place without stopping them is one of the rudest, most annoying things ever. When I was still with my ex, if her daughter started screaming we'd go outside, or leave depending on the location. There's no reason everyone around you should be tormented just because your child is being a brat.

We won't tolerate that when we have kids, either. If taking them outside doesn't work, we will get our food to go and go home, not stay there while our child is screaming.
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marishna
Link:(Link)
Time:2004-07-25 08:25 pm (UTC)
I understand when people let their kids cry and go and whine just to prove that it won't get them anywhere to do that when they want something. But when you're in a public place and when your child is being THAT disruptive, it's time to step in and do something.

Just last night we had a woman go to see Spiderman 2 with an infant (I'm guessing 3 months, I could be wrong) and another child (3-4 y/o, I think). We have a programme called Reel Babies at our theatre. This is once a month or every couple months when we have a movie on a weekday for parents to come to with their children and not have to worry about their babies disrupting the movie and people being annoyed. It's not the most frequent thing but we DO provide a service for parents and they do appreciate it.

This mother obviously did not take advantage of said service and brought her two children (the other must have been 3-4 years old) to the movie, which is violent (to a 3-4 y/o), scary (I jumped in a few places) and loud (it's an action movie and children have VERY sensitive hearing). Not even halfway through a couple customers came to the lobby and complained to us that the baby had been crying for some time in the movie and was disrupting it. The mother came out a few minutes later, of her own accord, and sat on a bench outside the theatre to calm her baby down.

What REALLY bothered me was that she was very angry. Obviously, visibly angry. Probably because her infant was crying through the movie and her son couldn't sit still (what do you expect for a 3-4 y/o?). She was slamming things in the diaper bag she brought, talking loudly and harshly to her child, pushing him and picking him up by the arm and lifting him onto the bench that way. That was what really bothered me. She was obviously angry and not in the best position to look after them. But I digress, the point is the movie. She did go back into the movie about 15 minutes later and stood in the back of the theatre, trying to get her son to keep still and rocking her baby. I had to stand at the back as well and monitor her to see if the baby made anymore noise because she would be asked to leave.

It did come to that and the manager finally had to step in and ask that she leave the theatre (with a refund) because her baby was disturbing the movie for everyone else. She was not impressed. However, in that type of situation you can't help it. Over 100 other people paid more money than she did to be there and that really isn't the right place to bring a child anyway of that age (the baby). It's a hard spot to be in, I understand but there was just nothing else we could do to accomdate her.

I guess the point is that if it's bad enough, talk to management and see if they can intervene on your behalf because you're paying to be there as much as they are. And that way you don't have to get involved either.
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vivian_shaw
Link:(Link)
Time:2004-07-27 10:18 am (UTC)
Personally, I'm thoroughly Victorian in my adamant belief that children should be seen and not heard. If they have to be seen at all, that is.

When I was small and prone to tantrums, I would get swiftly removed from the public arena by a parent, generally in the most embarrassing way possible (tucked under an arm, squirming and screaming). I quickly learned that I didn't like being tucked under an arm and carried out of restaurants/movies/whatever, so I made a mental connection between not shrieking and being allowed to remain in an interesting and new environment.

I really don't understand why other people can't do what my parents did.
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